“Safe decisions and behaviours promote the status quo. They protect us from change and discomfort and simultaneously stifle our potential and growth’ – Core Confidence
Authenticity is the ability to interact honestly with the world around you. It is the most powerful verbal, physical and spiritual expression of who you are in the moment. Authenticity is also relational, describing the ever-evolving relationship between your core self, your ego and the outside world. It is a quality that can be actively developed through deliberate and courageous self-exploration. As you grow and learn, your ability to show up and remain true to yourself expands with you.
Confidence, authenticity and leadership
Leaders that are self-aware consciously match their words to their actions. We describe an authentic leader as someone who is present, trustworthy and unafraid to be themselves. Confidence and authenticity work together to shine a light on who you truly are and showcase it to those around you.
The divine feminine
We all have elements from both the divine feminine and masculine operating within us. Most of us are unaware of how these are showing up. Yet, specific environments tend to foster our masculine traits. Unsurprisingly, workplaces often have a strong bias toward masculinity as historically they were established by men, for men. To meet this dominant dynamic, women can unconsciously withhold feminine aspects to create a stronger sense of belonging. The fear of being viewed as too caring, vulnerable or compassionate can suppress the natural qualities of the divine feminine (this can happen to caring, empathetic men too!) And the impact of this? It’s a no-win situation for everyone; organisations miss out on the innovation of feminine principles and intelligences. Any organisation that fails to embrace the richness of masculine and feminine strengths is short-changing itself and the people working there.
The double bind
Women are often caught in a double bind, condemned for assertiveness, or overlooked because they are perceived as too passive. Although there are hundreds of studies that demonstrate the importance and value of having more women in leadership positions, the reality of most organisational systems is they prioritise masculine traits. Imagine if the divine feminine was embraced as a counterbalance to the masculine strengths rather than being compromised in order to fit in.
The courage to be seen
Being authentic means that we acknowledge that we cannot control everything and that we embrace all of who we are. We do this by owning our gifts and talents as well as our flaws and challenges. We expand our potential by leaning into feedback, uncovering our blindspots and valuing our uniqueness.
Authentic boundaries
Setting boundaries is life-changing; it defines what you are prepared to accept and not accept and what you are willing to share and not to share. Your values define your boundaries and ensure you are taking care of yourself in regards to time, energy and resources.
Much like authenticity, boundaries are relational and open to challenge and change. While setting boundaries is relatively easy, enforcing them is far more complex. In our public Women in Leadership program, Module 6 focuses on Setting & Enforcing Boundaries. For many women, the desire to be liked, to fit in and to be helpful means that when boundaries are challenged, it feels hard to say No so that it lands well.
Authenticity is not confessional
Knowing your boundaries is being clear about what is wise and appropriate to share in specific situations. There is a sweet spot between being authentically you and not needing to burden others with unnecessary or inappropriate details.
Navigating authenticity and oversharing
- Deepen your self-knowledge. Commit to extending and building your self-awareness; analyse both your strengths and the barriers getting in the way.
- Be context-aware. What is the relevance? Being too candid too early in a situation can backfire and leave people questioning your competence.
- Be honest. Trust in your own experience and share your knowledge without an agenda.
- Do your homework. If you are in a situation, place or industry that is unfamiliar to you, take time to understand the cultural norms. This gives you insight into what is appropriate contextually.
How to acknowledge your truth
Each time you get in better contact with your personal truth, you amplify what is authentic to you. Authenticity is the willingness to go deeper with yourself to acknowledge (and at times speak) your truth. It’s a process that requires self-awareness and practice.
Consider an issue or situation, personal or professional, that feels confronting.
Step 1: Notice your reaction
The first step is to notice how you react in an uncomfortable, risky or scary situation. Notice how your body feels – the physical and emotional sensations that arise. Take a moment to breathe and acknowledge that is it OK and that you are going to use this information to help inform your decisions.
Step 2: Remember your pattern
Once you have acknowledged your reaction, connect with the familiar pattern of what you would typically do when you feel this way. How do you normally respond? This is often conditioned by the desire to fit in or belong and can easily arise in work and family situations. Many people will recognise a flight, fight or freeze pattern when threatened, at risk or unsafe. What happens for you?
Step 3: Uncover your truth
Stage three is the most challenging. It requires you to be quiet for a moment, to dig deep below the initial reaction and habits, and listen to what is really going on for you. This can feel uncomfortable, almost like a little niggle you’d rather ignore. Don’t ignore it any longer; let’s go there and find out what is happening for you. Lean into that uncomfortable sensation and ask how could I meet this situation differently? That is the point where you can perceive and feel your authentic truth.
Step 4: Make a conscious choice
Having tapped into this deeper layer of truth, you now have a choice. You may feel too vulnerable to speak or act on your truth at this time, and that’s OK. You get to decide when and how (and even if) you will act on your new understanding.
Moving forward
To stay relevant in an ever-changing world where we have to navigate complexity and uncertainty daily, organisations are focusing on how to be more flexible, adaptive, innovative and collaborative. Diverse perspectives and opinions are now not only accepted but encouraged; the world is finally recognising the immense value different experiences and voices bring to decision-making tables. Now is the time to be clear and confident about what it means to be authentically you. How do feminine traits contribute to your leadership and organisational success? And how can you support men to access these strengths within themselves?
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