“The best way out is always through” – Robert Frost
Resilience has been a huge topic over the past two years. At Core Confidence, we’ve been championing the importance of resilience for many years – supporting women to be compassionate and gentle with themselves so that they don’t end up exhausted and burnt out. Having resilience means that even when things are tough, you feel that you have the ability to move forward when unexpected hardship, change, or challenges arise. It’s also described as the ability to ‘spring back’.
Resilient people draw on their inner strength (and confidence!) in times of adversity and know they have the skills to remain calm and composed in the face of tension or stress. Research has proven that when we encounter challenges head-on, we deepen our resolve and strengthen our ability to perform. Resilience is what brings us through failure. It is an invitation to go beyond the initial pain and discomfort and to embrace new opportunities.
Sitting through discomfort
Whenever we discuss resilience, we always come back to Dr Brené Brown’s wise words: “If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall; this is the physics of vulnerability”. Brown shares that our resilience is strongly connected to our tolerance for discomfort. Her research examines the character traits, emotional tendencies and mental habits that enable people to transcend life’s difficulties and emerge unbroken and even more whole.
Conflict builds resilience
It takes courage to speak up and present a different perspective. Each time we calmly and respectfully offer an alternative position, policy or solution, we enhance our resilience and demonstrate the importance of being resilient to those around us.
Avoiding conflict is strongly linked to fear. It can feel unsafe to speak up and voice a different perspective than those around us. That is why it is vital to reframe our relationship with fear and failure and find our voice (and use it)!
The four dimensions of resilience
We think about resilience from four dimensions. This diagram shows the physical, mental, and emotional dimensions in interlocking circles and, surrounding everything else, the spiritual dimension. These dimensions are interdependent; the more one is strengthened, the more the others are reinforced.
Each dimension has specific elements that are important to focus on as we flex our resilience muscle. Underpinning the model is the need for flexibility, to move with changes and find a new way of doing things (rather than having a rigid position or overt reaction when something happens that you do not like or agree with).
Physical resilience
- Move – Plan and commit to some exercise and stretch or movement sessions each week.
- Find a buddy – Seek out others who like similar exercises and support each other to show up, even when you don’t feel like it.
- Be savvy re fuel – Learn about the foods and nutrients that are most nourishing and provide the best sources of energy.
- Be organised – Prepare and plan meals ahead of time so that you are not relying on takeout or eating packaged food.
- Detox – Give your body a break from stimulants and inflammatory foods once or twice a year.
Emotional resilience
- Self-soothe – Develop greater self-awareness and understanding of things that soothe you and the things that cause you to overreact or catastrophise.
- Less reactive – Build your capacity to self-regulate no matter what triggers you
- Trust yourself – Be confident in your capacity to deal with what comes to you. Build your capability to reflect and become your own best coach.
- Stay connected – Be connected to others. Maintain and invest in a strong network of supporters, friends and mentors.
- Your strategies – Make a list of small acts or experiences that fill your emotional cup. This could be going for a walk, sitting in the sun, listening to a podcast, whatever makes you happy!
Mental resilience
- Be mindful of your capacity – Be conscious of the pressure points in your life. Are you taking steps to manage these and asking for help where necessary?
- Be a lifelong learner – Get curious about what you don’t know and when things don’t work out. You are unique, which means you need to tailor strategies, tools and resources to work for you. Reach out for new ways and ideas daily and adapt things to work in your world.
- Manage your inner voice – Acknowledge the thoughts in your head and build the capacity not to buy into them.
- Get clear – Clarify the responsibility and expectations that are consciously or unconsciously placed on you. Push back where your capacity is already full and establish healthy boundaries.
- Loosen up – Let go of perfectionism and the need to be right. When overused, these tendencies undermine mental resilience.
Learn how to enforce boundaries and say No with confidence, watch our video here.
Spiritual resilience
There are two crucial aspects to spiritual resilience:
- Being clear about what we value and believe
- Our response when our beliefs and values are challenged or threatened
Whether or not a recognised faith or religion informs our spirituality framework, what matters to us spiritually is critical as it forms part of the fabric of our being and is linked to our identity. This relationship is deeply personal and requires constant work and development to strengthen this aspect of resilience.
To watch the series, click here.
Resilience is regenerative
When used wisely, resilience is a tool that allows us to grieve and heal without losing our balance in the world. It promotes renewal and emergence, two very powerful human experiences that can change us for the better.
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If you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, book a Confidence Breakthrough call at https://coreconfidence.com.au/book-a-call/.
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