“When it comes to building relationships, a simple hello can lead to a thousand opportunities” – Core Confidence

 

As the working world continues to change, your ability to adapt to change is crucial. We’ve seen over and over that leadership depends on your capacity to build and sustain strong relationships. As your career progresses, the ability to create enduring relationships will be an essential component to achieving your personal and professional goals. 

Building relationships versus networking

These terms are often confused as the same and are therefore used interchangeably. Traditional networking focuses on building and maximising connections centring around the question, “what can you do for me”. It often comes across as forced or inauthentic.

Professional networking is all about being your natural self and creating genuine relationships with others. Without the pressure of fast or superficial encounters, there is space to get to know someone on a deeper level and acknowledge the skills, industry network and insights you both bring to the table. This form of building relationships is commonly referred to as natural networking, and the benefits are valuable and mutual. These include:

  1. Learning from each other’s experience and knowledge
  2. Recommending skills, knowledge and expertise to your shared networks and associates
  3. Bolstering self-worth when faced with a crisis by reminding each other of your resilience and accomplishments
  4. Providing insightful feedback for improvement and development
  5. Harnessing the power of we – in relationships with others, we are able to create something greater than each person could achieve on their own

Creating strong relationships

Step 1: Start with you

Without a relationship with yourself and the self-awareness it brings, it is difficult to build, sustain and contribute to relationships with others. The more you know yourself, including your values, strengths and areas for development, the more confidence you will have in the company of others. Sharing authentically requires deep knowledge of all that you are – the deeper your relationship with yourself, the easier it is to be yourself.

Step 2: Develop your communication style

Effective communication is defined as when your message has been received as intended. Given that people communicate differently, you may need to adjust your communication style to truly connect with your audience in each context. Great communication requires a balance between talking and listening. This fosters a two-way exchange and allows for a deeper understanding of one another and the topic at hand. 

To improve your communication style, ask yourself:

  • Was I focused and present during that interaction?
  • Did I understand what the other person wanted or needed in that situation?
  • Was I clear about what I was trying to communicate?
  • Was there anything being implied subtly that needs to be explicitly discussed?
  • Was the other person clear about what I wanted or needed? 
  • How did I check if they understood what I was trying to communicate?
  • Was there anything left unsaid that inhibited communication between us?

Most of the above is common sense; however, we often walk into conversations with plenty on our minds, which means we are not present or clear on what we want to communicate. Planning what you want to share is vital, especially if the message is complex.

Step 3: Be strategic

Some relationships happen without conscious effort, whereas others require a more strategic approach. Depending on your purpose and goals, there are likely people you don’t know or don’t know well that could help you achieve your career goals. There could be insights and information they obtain, skills that would be useful for you to develop, or an introduction to other people in their network. Identifying who you want to build relationships with is the first step. 

When pinpointing these people, ask yourself:

  • What do I need to know that would support my career progression?
  • Who has knowledge that would be useful to me?
  • Who has experience or influence in the areas I am interested in?
  • How might my existing network or contacts be connected to these people?
  • What am I able to bring to the relationship? (Remember the importance of reciprocity to ensure a genuine relationship is developed).
Step 4: Give and receive help

Most people struggle to ask for help, so being the person who is prepared to take the initiative reinforces how much you value the relationship. Don’t wait to be asked! Use your intuition and offer help where you believe someone could benefit from your insight, experience or counsel. Being known as someone that is there for others and willingly helps where they can enhances your reputation. These are important characteristics for a strong teammate or leader.

In saying this, being wary of your capacity is also important. It is so easy to overcommit yourself to others. And despite good intentions, this can result in under-delivering, undermining your professionalism, trust and rapport (not to mention confidence). 

Step 5: Prioritise trust and safety

When we trust each other, we expend less energy defending our ideas and watching our backs. Trust in the workplace and with your network requires both reliability and a sense of safety. It’s not so much about who you worked with, it’s how you worked together. Creating an environment where it is ok to speak up and be open without fear is the foundation of building strong relationships. 

Step 6: Be curious and appreciate difference

There will always be situations when building a relationship is more tricky and requires more time and energy. You may have had different life experiences that make it challenging to find common ground to build trust and rapport. There’s always somewhere you can find a connection with them, despite differences!

Be curious about opposing ideas and views. You don’t have to agree with them, instead, understand where they are coming from and appreciate their perspective. Differing perspectives lead to diversity. As a result, it leads us to ask questions that may otherwise not have been considered. When you are open to difference, you can explore and learn from each connection you develop and nurture these relationships into stronger ones. 

To improve your ability to appreciate differences: 

  • Try letting go of the need to be right.
  • Ask questions and seek to understand why they believe their view is the best way to move forward.
  • Collaborate and integrate your ideas.
Step 7: Get to know people personally

Humans truly connect when they know each other’s lives and interests. Make time to have fun together, whether this is an event, celebration, drinks, outings or games. Making time to laugh and play strengthens a relationship. There is of course balance; you need to know when it is time to have fun and when it is time to be more serious. 

To get to know someone on a deeper level:

  • Ask about their family, interests, and life beyond work.
  • Schedule in frequent catch-ups that account for plenty of informal conversations.
  • Organise regular activities or events for people to participate in.
Step 8: Get out of your own way

Move beyond your comfort zone! It is easy to mingle with those you already know at work or functions. The challenge is to make connections outside of this group. Be conscious that while it may initially feel uncomfortable, learning skills to approach new people increases confidence. And remember, the act of confidence comes before the feeling!

So, what do you have to lose? 

Relying on hard work and knowing your stuff as your success formula won’t be enough as you advance in your career. The relationships you nurture will become a valuable asset as you navigate the complexities of leadership. Making time for relationships is an important part of being recognised for progression opportunities. 

We have witnessed hundreds of women redefine their success formula through our Acts Of Confidence program, proving with the right framework, you can unleash your leadership potential and start achieving your career and life goals. The doors are currently open for our next intake, starting Wednesday, August 31st 2022, and trust us when we say, you do not want to miss this! There is still time to make 2022 the year you control the voice in your head, escape the spiral of self-doubt, and step into your personal power. 

Watch one of our Acts Of Confidence clients talk about her experience below.